The Tooth Fairy Fell Asleep

Yesterday Big Pants lost his 3rd tooth. I didn't see it happen (I was in the bathroom) but it involved couch wrestling and a blanket and his brother and then the tooth was out.

Teeth losing is a big deal. Big Pants always writes a note to the tooth fairy asking to keep his tooth, an idea stolen from a classmate.  There is a special box for the tooth. The randomly occurring money-producing event is a special part of childhood. Tiny Pants is so jealous that I thought he might take pliers to his own teeth, so the tooth fairy and I had a little discussion, and now he gets a lollipop under his pillow when his brother loses a tooth. You know, to rot his teeth out faster.


Except when the tooth fairy goes to sleep and forgets to come.

Two little boys in great distress woke me up to tell me that the tooth fairy had forgotten them, and maybe she didn't really exist.


Think, Mama, think!

I knew the tooth fairy was supposed to come. I even made sure to get singles because the tooth fairy cannot ever leave a $20. And then I went to sleep. I was even sober, for those wondering. I was just really tired. I didn't even make it until 10:00pm to see the end of my show. 

Those sweet boys looked at me, and all on their own came up with the idea that  maybe she left clues for a treasure hunt. I looked at the clock. 6:52 am. They are not allowed to wake me before 7:00am, so I sternly sent them back upstairs for 8 minutes.

8 minutes 8 minutes 8 minutes

Ran downstairs to find the purse…which I left in the car, which was parked outside in a detached garage with a loud door. I was never gonna make that happen secretly in 8 minutes. No, six minutes left.

I dug through my change bowl and found 8 quarters, which I put in an envelope and wrote "It was too heavy to carry upstairs" and hid under the couch pillow. Ran to the kitchen, and found a lollipop -- not in a good flavor, but still, a lollipop . That went under the pillow on the other side of the couch.

I ran back upstairs and into my room, just in time.

The boys appeared, telling me of the clues they found in their room. (God only knows what clues, seeing as I hadn't left any.) We decided to start the coffee pot (my idea) then we would all look around downstairs.  They found more clues in the living room (a messy house provides many clues through the random distribution of objects, like pennies on the floor and a stray feather and a hat that hadn't been seen in over a year. If you clean your house regularly, you are missing out on this possible life-saving clue-providing miracle I was afforded this morning). 

I yelled at them to fix the pillows on the couch, and get whatever that was under there off the couch.  My house may be chaotic, but I like to have a clean couch, so this wasn't too weird of a request, I think.

Low and behold, the toothfairy's surprise was found.  Phew!

There was some let down, because quarters aren't as cool as dollars, and some confusion about what those confusing signs meant, and why the tooth fairy didn't have dollars.

But, the tooth fairy came.  That's what matters, right?

"At least we have proof that the tooth fairy really exists," I overheard one of the beastie boys say to the other. 


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